Are the Words of Women Welcome? How Letter-writing Highlights Gender Roles in Sense & Sensibility

♦ Sadie Barandes ♦

Letters were a pillar of everyday life for much of human history, allowing people to communicate their written thoughts across various times and distances. It is no surprise, then, that the first modern novels, attributed to the mid-18th century, were written in the epistolary form—through letters. When Jane Austen began her novel Sense & Sensibility in the 1790s, she initially conformed to the popular trend, intending for the story to be epistolary. She ultimately scrapped this idea, publishing Sense & Sensibility as a third-person narrative in 1815; however, she still gave letters and letter-writing a significant role. Throughout Sense and Sensibility, Austen uses the recurring presence of letters and letter-writing to explore the connotations of women in the early 19th century publicly taking charge in various domains—chiefly, how they were allowed to lead within the home, yet reprimanded for taking control in romantic relationships. This matters because it reflects the more general expectation for women to retain domestic roles, while remaining subservient in outside social situations.

The powerful role of letters is established early on in Sense & Sensibility. Mrs. Dashwood, the mother of three daughters, is displaced from her home following the death of her husband; however, she receives a letter from Sir John Middleton, a wealthy relation, in which he offers her a cottage on his family estate of Barton Park. Mrs. Dashwood accepts the offer and moves to Barton Park with her daughters, where her family becomes acquainted with many of the other major characters. Her middle child, a hopelessly romantic sixteen-year-old named Marianne, earns the attention of an older bachelor, Colonel Brandon; however, Marianne does not initially reciprocate, instead falling for a handsome young man named John Willoughby who she begins a passionate romance with. One morning, Colonel Brandon receives a letter informing him that his young ward, Eliza Williams, has been impregnated by Willoughby; he keeps the contents of the letter to himself, but urgently leaves for London to help with the situation. This, for the second time, allows letters to control the plot. Willoughby’s elderly cousin Mrs. Smith, who he is financially dependent on, finds out about Miss Williams and subsequently cuts him off; now destitute, he leaves for London in search of a wealthy woman to marry. Back at Barton Cottage, Marianne is oblivious to Willoughby’s relations with Eliza Williams, as well as his desperate search for a wife, believing him to be in London on business. When Marianne and her sister Elinor are invited to stay in London with Sir John Middleton’s mother-in-law, Mrs. Jennings, she jumps at the opportunity, hoping to reconnect with Willoughby. In London, she writes to Willoughby, leading others to believe the two are engaged—allowing, yet again, for letter-writing to act as a controlling force over the characters’ situations. Marianne’s letters go unanswered, and she eventually finds out that Willoughby is now engaged to a wealthy heiress, Miss Grey. Any remaining relationship between them is severed by yet another letter, sent from Willoughby to Marianne; it contains a cold message written under Miss Grey’s direction. Marianne falls ill from heartbreak over the situation. Willoughby tries to visit her, out of guilt, but is unwelcomed by Elinor. All the while, Elinor has been dealing with her own heartbreak over a man named Edward, who is the heir of the wealthy Ferrars family: after growing close to him throughout the beginning of the book, Elinor discovers he is secretly engaged to Mrs. Jennings’ poor relation, Miss Lucy Steele. Edward’s family eventually finds out about the engagement and subsequently disinherits him. Despite the unfortunate states of the various characters, things miraculously take a turn for the better: Lucy leaves Edward for his younger brother, the new family heir, giving Edward the freedom to marry Elinor, whom he truly loves; and Marianne, learning of Willoughby’s faults and Colonel Brandon upstanding nature, falls for, and agrees to marry, the latter; the two sisters get their respective happy endings and loving marriages. Throughout this story, letters serve as a dominant and controlling force. 

With letters established as a means of controlling various events, love letters can be seen as a means of taking control in romantic situations. Marianne’s decision to write to Willoughby, without proper reciprocation or engagement on his part, gives her the appearance of being the primary driving force of their relationship—a position viewed as shocking and reprehensible. When Elinor sees Marianne addressing a letter to Willoughby, she assumes that, “however mysteriously they might wish to conduct the affair, they must be engaged” (142-143). Elinor does not even both to consider the possibility that Marianne could be the one initiating the correspondence, instead assuming that it was invited by a marital engagement; this assumption would grant Willoughby the dominant role in the relationship, since engagements are traditionally, and nearly always in the early-19th century, proposed by men. After Colonel Brandon sees a servant carrying Marianne’s letter, he makes the same assumption, telling Elinor, “I was convinced [of the engagement] before I could ask the question” (144). When Marianne later reveals to Elinor that she and Willoughby were, in fact, never engaged, Elinor reacts with surprise. Her first instinct is to assume that Willoughby must have initiated a formal relationship in some other way, such as telling Marianne that he loved her; but when Marianne replies that he neither proposed nor professed his love to her, Elinor exclaims, “Yet you wrote to him?” (154). Marianne’s letters to Willoughby, and his lack of confirmed reciprocation, paint her as the one seeking out his affections, giving her a dominant romantic role; Elinor feels ashamed on her sister’s behalf, “over the imprudence which had hazarded such unsolicited proofs of tenderness, not warranted by anything preceding” (155), which reflects the greater societal impropriety of women taking control of romantic relationships. This idea is further demonstrated by Willoughby’s fiance, and eventual wife, Miss Grey. When Elinor ultimately confronts Willoughby about his cruel final letter to Marianne, he explains that the letter was written in the words of Miss Grey, while he simply acted as a scribe: “I had only the credit of servilely copying such sentences as I was ashamed to put my name to. The original was all her own” (290). The letter itself serves as a bitter response to Marianne’s romantic feelings; the fact that Miss Grey crafts it, yet sends it under his name, directly reflects the societal view that it is improper for a woman to act as the dominating force in a romantic situation.

While it is not socially acceptable for characters like Marianne and Miss Grey to initiate written exchanges regarding romance, much less scrutiny is placed upon female characters who use letters to take charge of domestic and familial affairs. This is first seen when Mrs. Dashwood writes to Sir John Middleton, informing him that she would, in fact, like to accept his offer at Barton Cottage (21). Through this decision, she takes charge of her family’s location—a decision no less significant than a romantic profession or initiation; and yet, her letter is seen as perfectly acceptable to everyone involved (21). Then, in London, when Elinor sees Marianne writing the initial letter to Willoughby, she first assumes it is a letter to their mother. Marianne hastily tells Elinor that this is not the case, “as if wishing to avoid any farther inquiry” (142). Elinor’s assumption reflects the social acceptability of a woman writing to her mother, rather than to a lover; and Marianne’s avoidance of further queries reflects the shame attached to the latter situation. Overall, the interaction reinforces the idea that women should take charge of written exchanges involving familial, rather than romantic matters, symbolizing broader gender roles placed upon women in Austen’s era. This is further affirmed by Elinor’s frequent tendency to write to Mrs. Dashwood, which is viewed as socially acceptable in comparison to Marianne’s letters to Willoughby. When Edward’s family finds out about his engagement to Lucy, and subsequently cuts him off, Colonel Brandon decides to offer him a place to live. However, rather than communicating this himself, Colonel Brandon leaves it up to Elinor to write to Edward (254). The means of communication parallels Miss Grey’s message to Marianne, this time flipping the gender roles: a man communicating about domestic affairs through a female medium, rather than a woman ending a romantic attachment through her husband. This emphasizes how domestic affairs are seen as a female domain, while, conversely, control over romantic matters is allotted to men. Towards the end of the novel, when Lucy writes to inform Edward of her marriage to his brother, she addresses the letter as, “Your sincere well-wisher, friend, and sister” (323). Lucy’s decision to emphasize her sister-in-law status attempts to frame the letter as an exchange between siblings, rather than former-lovers. Amidst a controversial situation, this seems intended to prevent any additional scandal, further emphasizing the acceptability of a woman’s correspondence concerning her own family, rather than romance. These various letters convey a world in which women are allowed to take control within the home, yet expected to play submissive roles in matters of romance.

Austen uses letters and letter-writing as a means of controlling and driving the plot in Sense & Sensibility. As various female characters adopt the role of letter-writer, initiating action in romantic and domestic affairs, they see significantly heightened scrutiny for involving themselves in the former domain than the latter; this reflects how, in the early 19th century, women were expected to concern themselves with their homes and families, while submitting to men in romantic contexts. Letters are consistently framed as a means of manipulating and taking charge of situations, directly causing plot points like the Dashwoods’ move to Barton Cottage, Colonel Brandon’s departure to London, and the end of Marianne and Willoughby’s romantic relationship. When female characters write decisive letters in regards to romance, it frames them as the dominant driver of the relationship, which goes against societal norms. This is demonstrated by Elinor’s resistance to believing that Marianne could be writing to Willoughby without clear invitation on his part, and Colonel Brandon’s similar assumptions. When Elinor discovers that Willoughby has not formally initiated the romance on his own part, she feels shame on her sister’s behalf, reflecting how it was considered dishonorable for a woman to be the one pursuing or taking charge of a relationship. Furthermore, when Miss Grey sends a letter directly ending the relationship between Marianne and Willoughby, she has it sent under Willoughby’s name, reflecting how it was more acceptable for men to be the ones behind such decisions. When women take the epistolary reins of familial and domestic affairs, on the other hand, they do not fall victim to shame or scrutiny. Mrs. Dashwood’s written acceptance of Barton Cottage is seen as perfectly proper by surrounding characters, while Elinor’s tendency to write to her mother is treated as similarly acceptable, particularly in comparison to Marianne’s letters to Willoughby. Colonel Brandon further asserts the idea that women should take charge of domestic affairs when he leaves Elinor to inform Edward, by letter, of his housing offer; this flips the situation with Miss Grey on its head, showing the contrast between the perceived femininity of domestic matters and masculinity of romantic matters. Finally, Lucy Steele’s decision to frame her final letter to Edward as communication between siblings, rather than between former romantic interests, demonstrates the societal acceptability of women involving themselves in familial matters, rather than romance. As a whole, the inclusion of letters and letter-writing as a plot device in Sense & Sensibility highlights these gender roles, reflecting the societal pressure for women to stay in the home and act subservient to men. This has been a significant issue, not only in Austen’s time, but for virtually all of history, limiting the ways in which women are allowed to live and forcing them to remain in undesirable, and even dangerous, situations.